Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
