You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
