Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
