hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
