Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize