i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
