Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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