wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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