Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
