last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
