if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The cops high fived after they tackled you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
