There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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