if you like me you must not know who I am
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think im going to throw up on grandma
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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