I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
