Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
