Soap is not a condiment
She said her name was "party"
ugly people sure do ruin things
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
