How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I understand Curling. That high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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