ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
should my penis look like a turkey
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
