hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
