i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
