Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
