Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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