I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
