ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
