perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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