Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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