Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize