She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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