question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're too hungover to prance.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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