I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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