i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
