If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
