PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
