Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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