look no pants
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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