i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
