Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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