Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
