u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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