i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
