I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
