when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
