Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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