if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
