I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he was CRYING into my vagina
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
