I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize