He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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