Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
soo... how was my night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
