Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
