I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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