Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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