I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
