Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found puke in my bra..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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