I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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