Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
