eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
