and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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