your parents love me but you hate me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
