Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sorry about my life...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize