we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
