Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize