you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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