I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
