Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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