addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
