i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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