yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize