apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
