I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize