Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
