I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
