paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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