Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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